Archive for the Dad’s Time Category

Home In Time

Posted in Dad's Time on April 3, 2008 by Donny

There is something that I have come to really really love about my life. Fun times with my kids. It is something simple.

Tonight, I got in from work and the kids were finishing up bath time. I grabbed one of their chairs and got to blow-dry everyone’s hair. What’s real special to me is the way the girls stand in front of me and seem to enjoy having their hair brushed. Their eyes get a little heavy from the warm air and their hair seems as soft as a pillow on a cloud in heaven.

My life seems to spiral out of control from time to time. There are times when I am so exhausted, I am not sure I will make it to the next day. And then there are moments where I am so worried about my wife or one of the kids that it can almost feel that God has left me. But…then…there are times where my girls look my in the eyes and smile and just wait patiently for dad to dry their hair and to give them a hug.

If God called me and said that my purpose on the face of this earth was to simply raise these five kids for an incredible life He had for them; I’d accept. They are worth it. And the people my kids have and will impact are worth it. I am always glad to be home in time for moments like tonight.

Bag-O-Life

Posted in Dad's Time, Life's Reactions on March 26, 2008 by Donny

I am no different than most fathers. I have moments where life seems to take turns that are unexpected or unwelcomed. Sometimes I handle the situations perfectly, whereas other times, I handle them with frustration and selfishness. My life and the life of the ones I love is worth more than some moment that will soon pass.

As I continue to try and grasp God’s wonderful plan for my life, I wish He would tweak what He has already put in place. My wife continues to battle pain that I hope I never have to fully understand. I know there are plenty of people in this world that live with constant pain, but I don’t love them like I love my wife. I see her squeeze her eyes shut as she fights a moment of unbearable pain. I know when her own body is attacking itself. I sit here wanting to take on God in some winless fight. In Donny’s weak mind, I want to ask who God thinks He is. I know God is bigger than me and better at being God than I ever would be; so why doesn’t He go ahead and answer the prayers of so many. I know God isn’t a procrastinator, but for goodness sakes…God, allow me to claim healing over my wife’s headaches and numbness and pain. God, go ahead and be praised for such healing and such grace and mercy.

Of all of my children, Logan has been the healthiest. Well, I say that. He has one kidney and before he turned one, his eardrum bursts. Now…my first-born son has been diagnosed with a treatable form of epilepsy. What?! God!!!! If this is all a test, I am ready to be graded. Pass or fail. I am ready to be better at everything, but God…wow. Logan? Seriously? I looked into my son’s crying eyes last night and I had an actual physical ache within me for my son. Take me God. Hurt me God. Not my children. I pray with my boy every night before I say goodnight to him. We pray for mommy…EVERY NIGHT…and we pray for Logan, and Hudson, and Candice, and Samantha, and Madison. We pray over K and Frostie and for Nana and Pops. And because he is my son, we laugh a lot together, we even pray for no bed-bug bites.

I have two amazing boys. I mean, seriously, to know Logan and Hudson, is to know a truly bright future for this world. But by age four, both of my sons will have seen neurologists. Man, that hurts me, God. My mother always taught me to be accepting of everyone and the problems that come with them, physical or otherwise. I just never knew I was going to be a dad of a child or children that would be looked at differently. But God, I can do this. You have truly trusted me with this honor and I accept.

I live a life of fear far too often. I have ticked off too many ER staff persons because I didn’t think they were providing care fast enough to my wife. I sat in the NICU of the hospital, surrounded by my four itty-bitty kiddos while another couple was saying good-bye to their newborn son. (Talk about fairness.) I stayed up late the other night with Logan, totally laughing and having a ball with my son, knowing that we were staying up late because the next morning, they were testing my son for problems within his brain.

And my girls…I now fully understand the impact that a son has on his mother’s heart, because I have felt the same thing from my three daughters. They watch me all the time. Last night, as I was tucking them into bed, I sang to each of them. I can’t sing and I don’t even know that many lyrics to little love songs. But it didn’t seem to matter,…’cause they all smiled back at me. The morning we took Logan to the sleep clinic, I went into the girls’ room to carry each one of them down to the van so that they didn’t have to walk down the stairs all sleepy. All three of them held onto me so tight, as if to say,”Daddy, thank you for holding me so close.”

So, Father God…”Thank you for holding me so close.”

(And please be sure to listen to the song I Pray by Lonestar. It really is my life currently. Thank you, again, K)

Donny Dixon 6.0

Posted in Dad's Time, Life's Reactions on March 20, 2008 by Donny

Hi. I am Donny. No, my name is not Donald; it is Donny. I am the husband of a 5’2″ giant of strength, love, patience, understanding, and faith. I am the father of two boys and three girls. I am 29. And I continue to need to be disassembled and rebuilt.

I recognize that I am a weak human being. This whole week, I have spent each night alone in my home. My wife and mother-in-law gave me a mini-Spring Break. They kept all five kids at my in-laws’ home for several days. Though, events have occurred this week that have made being apart from them very difficult, this time alone has also granted me time to reevaluate myself. And what I have come to realize is that I have not been fair to my family.

With Liz not being able to be at full strength due to on-going pain and numbness, I have been spending a lot of time with the kids, making sure their every need is taken care of. Though that is a cherished role because I get to be with my children daily, it can also be overly-exhausting and super frustrating. At times, I am dad. At other times, I am mom. And when I force either role, everyone suffers. I have allowed myself to be easily-frustrated and irritated and overwhelmed. I am going to change. I refuse to live my life this way and not taking advantage of a life that is awesomely-blessed. Often times, when someone hears how many children we have, they laugh in our faces and say something along the line of “ha, better you than me.” And they are exactly right. God has entrusted us with a family that I cannot take care of on my own. God never gave me this family to take care of on my own. He wants to be a part of it all. I have spent so much time trying to do everything on my own, that I tend to forget the God of the universe. I have got to stop doing that. I am too weak to do it alone.

My life changes on a daily basis. God is right. Each individual day has its own problems. One day it may be a medical issue and the next it may be a house issue while the next may be a work-related problem. Much of my life is just like your life and many others…it is just magnified because I have five children, all under the age of 4. Daddy Daycare is starting to seem like a better idea everyday. What’s a few more kids?!

I feel good again. I have my family back home with me. I sure did need a few days break. Those few days changed me. Wait, no, they didn’t change me. They gave me a chance to realize who I had become. Not a pretty sight. I am grateful for the opportunity to see that person and have the chance to change.

I want Liz to feel better. I want Logan to never have another seizure. (Be on the look-out for an update from Liz in the next few days on what happened to Logan.) I want Hudson to be able to run like a normal little boy. I want Candice to be able to talk like a normal little girl. I want Madison to be able to see like a normal little girl. I want Sam to have everything she needs. I want to be that father that my kids know is their dad and not just head of the household. I continue to struggle with what the roles of a real husband and a real father are to be today. One thing is for sure. As soon as I think I have gotten there, I have gotten nowhere. I am sort of like Windows…each new version has a whole new set of problems.

The Little Things

Posted in Dad's Time, Life's Reactions on March 9, 2008 by Donny

Long gone are the days when sleeping in was beyond 7:05. They have been replaced by little things. Take for instance this morning. It was still dark outside, due to the time change. I went upstairs to get the kids up, who don’t know about the time change; so they did sleep in a little bit. I walked into the girls’ room and Candice was laying with Samantha in her bed and I can hear them just talking away, you know, girl-talk. Madison is standing beside the bed playing with a doll. Sisters being sisters and just totally loving life.

I walk into the boys’ room and Hudson stands up smiling, as if he has been up for awhile, just waiting for me to come get him. Logan was still asleep when I went in, but heard me getting Hudson up. He roles over and smiles…”Hi, Daddy.” Its the little things.

I start working on the blueberry pancakes and cups of milk for the kids. When I get back upstairs to give the kids their breakfast and turn on Noggin for them, I take a glance outside. It is calm and quiet. I look to my right, towards the East, and what a sunrise. The purples and oranges and yellows and blues that seem to be put there on purpose by some great painter.

My life has been flipped upside down, shaken and stirred, and then thrown in the air. It has been one heckuva ride. Sure, it has had it’s very low points. But the highs…well the highs need more of a focus. This Sunday has helped with that. My kids smile a lot. They sing a lot. And for the most part, they play well together. I so desperately want to be successful at my job. It is not even a competitive thing. I will admit, it is a pride. I want my passion for my job to come through. But if I never make another sale. If I am never given another promotion or bonus or any other resemblance of success, I have still made it.

Here are some little things I have learned to hold onto: My daughters’ little hands in mine, My son being so proud of something that he wants to show his dad, My kids needing me, My whole family anxiously awaiting my arrival from a trip, my wife’s care of me in a million different ways, and the many other ways that each of my family members have shown me that they need me. Because, big person or little person, it is so great to be needed.

Yeah, I guess God does know what He’s doing… 🙂

Quiet Time

Posted in Dad's Time, Life's Reactions on March 6, 2008 by Donny

I am a scared person. I am a person that worries more than I should. I have a past full of insecurities that try to creep in my daily life. I have played the “what-if” game with myself millions of times. And yet, with all that I think is against me, I can still find some great things about my life. I’m just really bad at it when everything seems to be falling apart around me.

Today, Liz and I were downstairs talking about the whole school situation for the kids and also trying to figure out our housing situation as well as discussing a lot of the medical issues of our family. I was in the middle of a sentence when I just stopped talking and started listening. Logan was at school and the quads were upstairs playing with a lot of their toys. I heard Madison’s voice…she was saying the entire alphabet. She kind of ran the “L, M, N, O, P” together, but still, very audible. There has been a lot said about Candice and Hudson, regarding their health and growth. But Maddy hasn’t had it easy either. She dealt with extremely poor vision for awhile. Madison Paige has done so well with word formations and sentence structure. I am a very proud papa.

We were cleaning out the office closet earlier. As we moved things around and packed up our books, I found some pictures from about 2 and a half years ago. They were pictures of the quads. I NEVER want to live that time of my life again. It is hard to believe we all made it through that time. (Hopefully it wasn’t as hard as I remember it being.) There was also a picture of Liz, Logan and I before we knew we were having quintuplets. If only there was a way to go back and sit down with that family of three. Country songs speak of simpler times…and though that may be the case…I can’t even comprehend life without my girls and my Tater.

It snowed here today. A lot. I have yet to measure how much fell here at our home, but based on the amount sitting on top of my car, it was surely 2 inches. To step out on the back balcony of our home and to listen to the sleet falling against the rooftops and watching the large snowflakes float to the ground, well frankly, it was needed. I freak out far too often over a lot of different things, but it is nice to have a day like today. To be reminded to chill out. Give things a chance to work out before jumping to the worse-case scenario.

It is quiet in my home tonight. My family is asleep. Again, I got to be the one that tucked my kids in bed tonight. I got to hear from Logan “don’t let the bed bugs bite!” All of the kids had their bears that I brought them from my latest business trip with them in bed.

Tonight, God, I am a stadium of one. Sometimes I hear you loud and clear, God. Other times, I get in the way of what it is you’re trying to do with me. You have slowed things down to help me see that You are still here and are still involved. Thank you for continuing to bless my life, despite myself. Thank you for being God and not my best friend. I may never get you or understand you, Lord, but you know me. Life is hard, but You have for sure made mine worth it. Amen.                                                                                                                                                                                                 

School-bells. Or Not?

Posted in Dad's Time, Life's Reactions on March 5, 2008 by Donny

There are times in life that you absolutely need others. Maybe you need them to help put in a sprinkler system or help paint a room. Then you may call on a friend or family member to help with childcare. And when situations arise like I have been living for the past three years, you lean on everyone for prayer and moral support.

Right now, Logan goes to school twice a week. The boy comes home from school and amazes me how much he has learned and the knowledge he seems to have on life. It is also an answer to prayer that he is able to attend a Christian school, where he is also learning about God and Jesus and the ultimate love of his Heavenly Father. Now, we would like the same opportunity for the quads.

The quads have been behind developmentally since they arrived. They were born 13 and a half weeks early. And although they have made tremendous strides to “catch up”, they still need further help in gaining an understanding of this world and the One who created it. To do this, it is going to cost our family a lot of money. As most people know, daycare and preschool are costly. Many people pay for one or two or three kids to attend some sort of schooling everyday. We are trying to figure out how to make that work for 5 kids. We would love for Logan to be able to attend school everyday and for the quads to be able to go at least twice a week. If that is able to happen, it will allow for the children, all of them, to continue growing mentally as well as learning how to relate to other kids that they are not related to. Also, Liz will get a much needed break. This will allow her to rest as she continues to live in daily pain, and not to mention, give her the time to take care of laundry and caring for our home, as she is able.

To do all of this, we need help. As of right now, to have Logan in school and the quads out of the house just once a week, we need $7,000. To get Logan in school and the quads into school twice a week, it will cost us $11,000. Obviously this is a lot of money. Money we don’t currently have. Many people continue to inquire how they can be of help and what it is that we need. So many people have helped with meals and with gift cards for diapers and kid-care needs. And thankfully, we are moving to a new stage in life. If you are able to help, we would appreciate it. If not, please pray that there might be someone out there that would be able and willing to help us get our kids into a Christian learning environment. (All gifts should be sent to the Dixon Quads Fund and not to us directly. Information for the fund can be found on Liz’s blog or click the link below.)

Dixon Education Fund

Picture This

Posted in Dad's Time on March 2, 2008 by Donny

It has been a semi-long weekend. Liz is still fighting constant pain that would bring a WWE wrestler to his knees. I have had the kids to myself. And by the time Sunday night rolled around, I am up for enrolling our kids in some sort of Dad-Day-Out program. OBVIOUSLY, I am kidding. But then, something happens and the fact that I was the one there, makes all of it worth my while.

Tonight, I did something I had never done alone. I fixed dinner, gave the kids their baths, dressed them, and did the round of medications and breathing treatments. Samantha, Candice, and Hudson are the ones getting the breathing treatment. But Logan and Madison always want it as well. Well, the girls were tucked away in their beds and Hudson was in his. Last, but not least, it was Logan’s turn.

In addition to all the things with the kids, I was running laundry in both the washer and dryer and trying to clean up the kitchen, including the dishwasher. (Oh, and picking up inside the garage so that I could pull my car in to avoid any potential hail damage.) So, I was downstairs, trying to get things done while Logan finished up his breathing treatment. I quietly walked up the stairs and around the corner. He is sitting in the floor with his Superman t-shirt on…asleep. What an awesome little dude.

Some of my days are longer than others. I don’t always understand what is going on. I am unsure why certain prayers are answered and others aren’t. But one thing is certain, life is worth the pains. Sundays are days that God himself rested. I choose to as well.

By the way…Logan loves energy drinks too. hahahahahahaha