How Long Must I Pray………………..

I look back and behind the kids and I,  walks Hudson. He is slower than the other kids. But he is trying his hardest to keep up. We’re walking the halls of the hospital. There’s no color to these walls. A hallway is just a passage from one place to the next. But why? Why can’t the hallway itself be a step? Be part of the walk? If I were to stop, what hope can my eyes land upon. Hudson.

When a medical staff member walks by, he stares at them until they smile. When the lady in the wheelchair rolls by, he doesn’t wait for her smile, he shares his first. Walkers, hospital beds, crutches…whomever is going his way, no matter their ailments, Hudson will be sharing a little part of himself. He isn’t worried about a comfort zone, or a smell, or even rejection. Plain and simple,…he loves.

I share this as I recall the trip to the hospital that the kids and I took yesterday. We went to check on Liz and find out the latest on her situation. The good news is that all the tests they have run to check for a possible blood clot in her lungs or for the possibility of a stroke have come back negative. But, on the flip side, what’s wrong? Liz is still having headaches, dizziness, and basically her whole tongue has gone numb. As of yesterday afternoon, the level they test to check the thickness of her blood had gone down .2, instead of going up. Because the doctors saw nothing “wrong”, despite not having any answers whatsoever, there have been talks about going ahead and sending Liz home. When they do that, the stress level for Liz and I both go up.

Don’t mistake that for not wanting her home. The concern is that she has returned home often times, too soon, and had to return less than a week later. There have also been some talks about when to go back in and relieve her of the occlusion on her left side. She does feel better than she did when she first arrived at the hospital, a week ago today. But better is not better. It can’t be good enough to get a patient from bad to better. Where’s the fight for one another? Where’s the desire to better one another’s life? It can be easy to dismiss a need when love is removed from the equation.

Yesterday, the kids and I stayed awhile in Liz’s room; long enough that I got to visit with one of the three doctors on her case (2 vascular surgeons and 1 oncologist.) I talked to one of the vascular surgeons about levels, numbers, possibilities, and plan. How many times are you going to ask the same question? He kept asking Liz how she was doing or making a statement with a question mark at the end. “You’re doing better though, right?” I guess it is easier to move on to the next patient when you can’t figure out this one. Is this where we find ourselves? Dealing with doctors that shy away from challenges? Or does this reflect most of us?

Maybe we don’t have skeletons in the closet, but perhaps a broom. It’s where we keep the broom we use to keep sweeping all the tough stuff over to the corner or under the rug. Hope is not lost. Fight is still strong. Shoulders are still skinny and strong.

As of right now, blood levels are being checked several times a day. Some blood samples were sent off to a reference library in some other state. Liz’s carotid artery was looked at yesterday. There is a concern that the issue all along has been in her veins, but is now starting to carry over into her arteries. This is as serious as it sounds. She has had a couple of issues there before, but all has been resolved. Liz’s heart and pulse are being monitored closely. Her vital signs are stable. Yesterday, I had to think through everything. What were they missing? What wasn’t being done? Like, why she didn’t have the leg compressions on.

Prayers don’t have shelf-lives. You don’t pray to God, leave it there for a few days, and then return to find out whether or not it has been heard and answered. You always chase a prayer with a prayer. And when the second prayer is done, pray again. In fact, it’s as if we should end each prayer with a “to be continued” instead of an “Amen.” Why stop there? And if the prayer is of thanksgiving for an answer, why not continue the praise? Why do we “stop” talking to God? I know what Amen means, but we have gotten accustomed to using it more as a periodrather than an agreeance. God can’t be a friend I update with the latest goings-on. He isn’t a just Father. He is God. Beautiful. Loving. Perfect in His God ways. He cleans the dirty dirty. He loves the hated. He kisses the ugly. He is a tear-catcher, heart-holder, and refueler. God has dance moves that would make Rev. Hammer jealous. He has the singing ability that would sweep the Grammy’s. His love quotes on our lives puts Hallmark out of business. He can’t use the wealth of Gates, Boone, and Trump combined. He is God. He is King. He is Savior. He is Healer. He is Lover. Some crawl to Him. Some collapse as their fingernails scratch at His cross. Broken, ashamed, sad, alone…He wants you. Hospitalized, Nursing home-ed, Bed-ridden…you belong to Him. You won’t see a person today that he doesn’t love. And that includes the Dixon’s.

We’ll see what today holds. More tests? More results? Another night there? Surviving is no longer just about eating and drinking and breathing. It is so much more about being His and living accordingly. Slavery is by force. Life is by choice. Life’s purpose is choosing the path made for me. I close with the song “The Stand” by Hillsong United playing in the background right now.

God, today, be.


3 Responses to “How Long Must I Pray………………..”

  1. Praying these things and praising with a thousand thoughts and praises while lifting up Liz, you, the docctors and asking His Almighty power, healing and working of His will and witness in and through it all. And all this while celebrating the birthday of the “Quads Against All Odds” and thanking Him for the faith decision that you and Liz made six years and six months ago and the many other tough, but faith-full decisions and experiences since then.Praying, praising, celebrating…life! The real deal.

  2. Jennifer Rogers Says:

    Donny-God is doing some incredible things at our church right now ( Revival has broken out and people are coming and crying out to Him. Would you be okay w/ me asking our church to pray for Liz’s healing? I haven’t heard the whole story of what is going on with her, but I’ve been keeping up w/ you all on facebook and have been praying for her. If there is anything specific you want me to ask them to pray for please let me know. I would love the priviledge of encouraging over 300 people to pray for her. We have been meeting nightly for two weeks now from 7 until 11 p.m. some nights. You can go to the website to get updates on what’s going on. Pretty awesome!!

    A fellow prayer warrior,

  3. Jennifer…I never to be asked if its okay for others to pray. If God, the ONLY God, is being talked to and praised, bring THAT on!!! Thank you for your willingness to pray. Thank you for your willingness to intercede. And thank you for sharing about your church. Very excited. I pray for impact on those that need it most.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: