Self-Colored Glasses

Have you ever found yourself staring out a window and not been able to see the landscape before you due to the reflection in the glass? Life ever been so full that your cup is over-flowing and getting your feet wet? I can no longer be satisfied with sipping what my life has to offer. God said that He could provide a life that is more abundant. Having one shot at it, I want the over-sized life.

On this Friday afternoon, Liz is still in the hospital. Her own veins continue to be her nemesis. My pain will always pale in comparison to what she has sacrificed for our family. To smile at people, but to cry behind closed doors. To trust in an unseen God when life is truly in the balance. Christ’s sacrifice becomes more real when life’s struggles are about to win. If you have never met Liz and don’t know who she is, the best way to describe her is that she is the world’s greatest fighter, without ever throwing a single punch. There is something powerful in quiet strength.

This current hospital stay has not been an easy one. Two IVs have blown. She is still dealing with pain and is now on strict bedrest due to the newly formed blood clot in her leg. Liz is fighting some other issues that may be more long-lasting. The plan, the last I was told, was for Liz to be hospitalized until tomorrow. But what about Trick or Treating with her children. Imagine being at home, but not getting to go places with your kids or go do fun days at your kids’ school. Liz is biding her time. She is waiting for ultimate healing. When faced with such challenges, I pray that my faith in God’s plan will be able to match that of one of God’s prized creations.

The kids…I am humbled at their resilience. They grow, love, and express a true sense of joy through their words, eyes, and actions. Logan and Hudson are a couple of dudes that make me proud to be a father. There are plenty of mornings where I walk into their room to get Logan up for school and he is asleep in Hud’s bed. He watches over his lil bro, even in the middle of the night. (God, your reminders of your love for us can be reflected by our own children. You make me smile.) And my daughters…*fighting the tears in public*. Madison, Candice, and Samantha are beautiful angels that haven taken up residence on my cloud 9.  God, let me please be their shoulder they cry on, the hand they reach for when in need, and the daddy they never forget to love.

Liz and I have been trying to sell our house for what feels like 18 months; it has been less than six. Just today, we received our first offer. In the movie ‘The Shawshank Redemption’, Andy Dufrain kept writing letters  asking for funding for a new library in prison. When the state government finally sent a check, he was happy, but it led him to writing two letters a day instead of just one. I am praising God for the offer, but am now upping my prayers regarding all parties involved. Not about to move without Him.

Work plate is full. That in and of itself is a praise, but it does lend itself to more stress. Pizza isn’t my passion, but rather, people are. So many people are looking for a change. What they have isn’t working. They know there is more to be had. One guy said that he oversees about 200 people. It’s not a challenge to him to run a company. BUT, he is now ready to serve others and get his hands dirty. His words were, “I want to have a daily impact on people I don’t even know.”

So, here I am. Flying through the air, hitting turbulence, with no idea what’s ahead. I feel like my life is filled with good and bad complications. I get overwhelmed, beaten up, chastised, scolded, ignored, and questioned. I find myself trusting God as long as things go my way. When He starts charting a different course than what we (I) discussed, I pull out my own map. Look, I know. I know my life is blessed. I mean, I am the one living it. But its time to free fall; God’s the One with the parachute. Someone said to me the other day that they were praying that this would all be over soon. WOW! Thanks, but no thanks. Instead, I want it to go on forever if that means God is sought more. See, the more we go through as a family, the more we HAVE to rely on God. Once things are smooth and easy, there is an easy tendency to put God on speed dial.

Easy with the band-aid, God…its gonna hurt.

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One Response to “Self-Colored Glasses”

  1. You know, any more, most of your blogs don’t really call for much of a response. At least not from me. I’ll just let you know that as you share about ways the Lord uses the kids to teach you many things, look forward to that never ending. At least at age 53, He’s still teaching me through my sons, daughters-inlaw, and now, grandchildren. That inlcudes a lot i’m still learning about prayer and “Why the world Hr created is the way it is.” Keep on and hugs, prayers and lots of love from Nana & Pops

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