I Think God Got Replaced

When it comes to living, most of us want to.  We want to live life the way we see fit. And then, in we are in a desperate pinch, we call upon “god.” We try and make pretty good decisions. We want to help those in need. We want to speak our minds without hurting other peoples’ feelings. We like to think that our lives are just that, our’s.

Getting married changes that. Having kids changes that. And “finding Jesus” changes that. (I HATE that phrase because the media now uses it as a fad for those in jail or star athletes with colorful pasts.) One part that I never really gave much thought to was that if God made my body, was I not His from the beginning? This led to me making a decision. A huge decision.

I stopped all soft drinks. Immediately. Cold turkey. On Tuesday of this last week, I was up to four Mountain Dews and two Cokes. I mean, my gosh, I freakin’ passed out in Honduras playing soccer because I drank an energy that morning instead of water. In fact, as I felt myself getting dizzy, while sitting on the bus, I had an energy drink in one hand and a Coke in the other! (I want to discuss some side effects in a moment.)

I also made another decision. No more chips. Zip, nada, no-mo. I have decided that for the rest of 2009, I am going to eat healthy. I am going through water like NEVER before. I am eating fruits and vegetables.

Now, I am not doing this because I had some sort of flash forward and found myself being buried in six months. I am not doing this because God convicted me so heavily that I just gave in. I am not doing this to prove a point.

I am doing this because I actually want to. I want to breathe easier, wake-up in a better mood, and have more energy. I want to stop with the heartburn in the middle of the night. I want my heart to stop having minor racing attacks. I want my kidneys to stop being so tender.

I need to be here for my kids. I need to keep my energy level high for the times when Liz is sick. I need to do better with the vessel that encompasses my soul. Its time that I realize I am 30 and not 24. I may be skinny or thin or a toothpick or even make stick figures look overweight, but I am not healthy. I want to run and ride my bike and lift weights. I WANT to drink water instead of soft drink. I want to stop eating when satisfied. I am not looking to become fit enough to out-pace God, but rather, be available when and where He wants me.

This all has been very difficult. Even today, I am fighting the urge of downing a Dew and inhaling a bag of Ruffles after eating two Nutty Bars. Thursday, the first full day without caffeine, I was miserable. I don’t get sick very often, but Thursday, I thought I was dying. Seriously, at one point, I was getting shaky, my heart was racing, I felt very sick to my stomach and I felt like I was on the verge of crying. Why was I doing this? I could make it all stop my having a 12-ounce can of Mountain Dew. See, I didn’t make some deal with God that I was promising Him some great feat by doing this. I never once said that this new diet was forever. I have committed to this for a short period of time. I want to do this.

God was replaced in this area of my life. I thanked Him for blessings in my life, but I ignored the fact that my eating habits proved to be the exact opposite. The other day, at work, we had a health assessment done. I won’t go into all the numbers, but a few stuck out to me that caused me to think differently. On that day, I weighed more than I ever have in my life. (Yes, I know that’s not saying much, but it did tell me that there was more fat than muscle.) But on the flip side, my blood pressure was actually really good and my cholesterol was in the middle of the normal range…for now. What if for another year or two or ten, I kept eating the same way and drinking the same way. People have told me for a long time that I was addicted to soft drinks and chips and other junk food. It didn’t matter. I needed to come to that realization myself. I get on here and I talk about how blessed my life is and how awesome it is to see people taking care of us in a time of need when Liz is sick. I get to brag on my kids and how my life is a better place because they are in my every day. 

I don’t know when I’ll find myself in Heaven. I don’t know, if any, what physical ailments are headed my way. But my body needs to be in the best possible shape for whatever life has to offer. I am 6’3″ (and a half) and weigh 172lbs. I am weak. You can count most of my ribs without using your fingers. I can get my head and arms through half of Logan’s t-shirts.

I am struggling through this, but excited about the possibility of accomplishing something that I told some people I would never do. I apologize for making this blog post all about me. But I think I am telling the “world” so that you can help me. I hate cooked vegetables. I hate a lot of the fruits found in grocery stores, but I am trying. It has to be baby steps with me. But not having heartburn over the last few days and living without a single headache since Thursday night, I can tell it is already making a difference. Not sure what 2010 will be like, but for the rest of 2009, I want to get rid of fat, build muscle, strengthen my heart, clear my mind, and feel better about myself. There is a lot of who I am that needs a lot of work. And like I have quoted before, “…He’s still workin’ on me, To make me what I ought to be…”

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3 Responses to “I Think God Got Replaced”

  1. “It took Him just a week to make the moon & stars, the sun & the Earth & Jupiter & Mars. How loving & patient He must be. He’s still workin’ on (you &) me.”

  2. Keep up the good work! When I was pregnant with Kaelin, I gave up Coke (…the drink). It was difficult at first, but after a short time I realized that I didn’t even want it any more – that bottled water actually sounded better, and was more satisfying to me. These days I splurge with the occasional coke, but I never feel like I’m missing anything by not drinking it. And I’m sort of embarrassed at how that wasn’t always the case.

  3. Please don’t ever apologize for taking some time for yourself. You have a crazy, hectic, and stressful life. You are constantly worrying about others in your family, your community, and at work. I’m glad to see you are finally taking some time to focus on yourself as well.

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