Just Another Manic Monday

It is Monday night. I haven’t updated the blog because, well frankly, I didn’t feel like it. I get on here and start typing away and before I know it, I have exposed myself for who I really am; an absolute human being. I walk through each day with the hobo bag of pride, anger/frustration, and jealousy. I can sometimes get away with acting strong on the outside when I am conflicted on the inside. Then again, those that have seen the struggle and stuck by me, push until I allow them to fight with me at my side. Love leaves the lips and takes form.

I sit at the table tonight alone. I awoke this morning with Liz in the hospital. She will have been there a full week tomorrow morning. Complications continue to set her release date back. Last night, it was discovered that Liz had a blood clot in her right leg due to the central line that was being used. A central line was inserted because all other veins were too difficult to access due to scar tissue. Now for the kicker.

Last night, I went up to the hospital. The kids stayed behind and spent the night at some friends’ house. While at the hospital, the nurse pulled the central line out, after having gotten another IV in place. I was told that a hematologist had been called. Good; now a plan can be set forth to rid Liz of this clot(s) and we can get her out and all this can end. (Please excuse me while I pause and cry laughing.) For medicine to be prescribed or for any action to take place what so ever, THE DOCTOR HAS TO COME BY!!!!!!! It has now been 24 hours since the ultrasound, that was ordered stat, revealed that she indeed had a blood clot in her leg. And still, no hematologist. All the while, Liz has some serious pain in her right leg, it is swollen and she can’t go on walks to prevent any others from forming. You see, herein lies the kicker. Liz was on clot-busting medicine when the clot formed and started causing problems.

Now, understand, I know people get blood clots all the time. But, this is the same woman that has had a stroke, a blood clot in her lung, and in other places in her body. This is NOT just SOMEBODY with a blood clot. So, please excuse my while I get frustrated at the lack of concern and care that some people seem to be showing Liz. And please, if you are in any sort of profession that involves people (we all are, btw), show some compassion. (Now wait a minute Donny; how can you spew such anger towards a particular group of people and disassociate those words from yourself?) The last three trips to the hospital, I have been a different person. My heart is changing. Its now a matter of putting it into practice. And the smack in the face from reality? Compassion seems to work far greater than speaking out of frustration. Hey, “He’s still workin’ on me.”

Anyways, back to Liz. There IS a blessing at hand. One of her doctor’s gave her something that has helped to relieve the bloating and pressure she has been experiencing since the procedure on Thursday. I have taken the kids up to see her a few times now and it is great for both Liz and them. Logan and Sam, the brother and sister that are the ringleaders, seem to take things in stride. Hud, Candi and Madi need time with mommy. The last day or two has shown them to be hurting. It is amazing how much they teach me. I may not understand something, but I do know when their is a void in my life. They don’t get what’s going on with Liz, but they know she’s not around and we have to leave the house to see her. Something did rip my heart to shreds on Saturday. After spending all day at home in anticipation that we would get the call to go pick Liz up, we left late in the afternoon to go see her. As we were pulling away from the house, Logan was explaining to Samantha and Candice that sometimes we get sick and it takes awhile to get better. And that mommy just takes awhile to get better. God? Really? He’s 5! Logan, keeping preachin’ son…daddy’s listening.

I took a day today to take my kids to the doctor. They had to get check-ups for school. Typically, that is a task that Liz has taken on. To hold three of my kids hands while they got shots…how do you explain to a crying child that this pain is temporary and that this is keeping them from greater pain later on? (point to ponder?) I picked Sam up off the table; that girl held onto me so tight. We eventually made our way to the hospital.

I REALLY wished that wasn’t so normal.

After running a few more errands, we made it home with groceries from some incredible friends. All five kids helped bring things in and we just made it a family effort to put everything away. As they were upstairs playing, before the girls left for ballet, I sat down to respond to some work e-mails. After a bit, I realized the house smelled so disgusting. I looked upstairs at my kids’ faces. WOW! Talk about a guilty look…my princess chose not to leave the movie they were watching…As I was cleaning Candice up, the doorbell rang. It was Liz’s grandparents bringing us dinner for the night. God’s timing with His blessings just makes me smile. Surely, surely He laughs at me.

So, its Monday. Its Monday night. The kids have been asleep for awhile. And let me go ahead and say this. They can be hyper and energetic and can even get out of control at times, BUT…God sooo knew what He was doing when He gave us these five. For them to be able to roll with the punches the way they do and to still be so sweet, caring, loving, and patient with dad; Y’all, I am blessed. No way around it…plenty to smile and laugh about.

I don’t want to end this post without mentioning some ways that you can pray for The Dixon’s.
1.) Pray for Liz’s health to be fully restored by the grace, mercy, and love of the One is able to do such a thing.
2.) Pray for protection over Liz as she has an existing blood clot in her right leg.
3.) Pray for my grandmother as she is also in the hospital.
4.) Pray for my mom who is under the weather in Portugal.
5.) Pray for my brother as he is out of pocket. (Soooo stinkin’ proud of him.) And his wife.
6.) Pray for extended family.
7.) Pray for my children as they have exhibited such strength during so many changes lately.
8.) Pray for the country of Honduras, where I hope to return this Fall to continue the construction of an orphanage.

Tonight, it is all about Romans 8:28.  I love you.

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2 Responses to “Just Another Manic Monday”

  1. LOVE LOVE LOVE you guys!! So much 🙂 God if for sure at work….we are continuing to pray for even greater miracles that He has already blessed with!

  2. Overwhelmed with love, need, prayer, praise, the right kind of pride and thanksgiving, pain and more. Prayer(talking with and petitioning God), is my only solace. Going to sleep tonight praising and praying.

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