Kickin’ It In The Air

Here I am, back in the air. It is another time to blast my iPod and to disappear. No exit row seat this time. Due to having to change my flight schedule, the company had to use miles to get me on this flight. I am now in first class in seat 2A. It is a deserved seat due to the time I have been away from my family on this trip.

 

I left last Saturday morning and am just now headed back on this Wednesday morning. My brother and sister-in-law are in the air somewhere as well; headed back from their mission trip to Brasil. I have been to Nashville and Cincinnati and am headed back where I belong; home.

 

This trip has really stretched me in some ways. I have felt lonely on this trip. You see, I love people. I love being around people and love talking with people. I love to be in certain places and experiencing new things with people. I am proud to be a Tennessean. I thoroughly enjoyed “being ‘home’” for a few days. I wasn’t in Knoxville, but Nashville was closer than normal. I missed being there with Liz because she has grown to love Tennessee and she loves to visit there. It just may be awhile before we’re able to make it back there. I loved ordering REAL sweet tea and being called ‘sweetie’ by an older lady with two first names. It seemed to me that Southern hospitality is still alive and well.

 

Having just been in Cincinnati a couple of weeks ago, I was looking forward to going to a different part of town other than downtown. I was helping with a client church in West Chester, OH. It seems to me that the number of people that still live in the same area where they grew up gets smaller and smaller, which I think is fun. It provides for easy conversation.

 

So, let me explain the loneliness. Isn’t interesting how you can be surrounded by people and not be heard. Or you can say something, think that you were heard and understood, and then someone asks you a question that shows their lack of interest in what you said to begin with. Yes, there is something to be said for solitude. I love having time alone to think, reflect, pray, sleep, or just get away. And I think how often times I fall back to that kid who grew up self-conscious and lived as a forced extrovert when in reality, I felt much more like an introvert. Maybe most people have moments where we get down on ourselves, feel unloved, not needed, and just fairly significant. Yes, yes, yes. I know that God/Jesus loves me and thus I am very significant. I know that my family loves me and needs me. But in those quiet times alone, it is very easy to question anything and everything; realistic or not.

 

I am not depressed or sad or frustrated. I am sane. I recognize that there are times when I am down and out. But I sit here on this plane in seat 2A with a smile on my face. I am sportin’ my Yankees’ jersey and have a half a cup of Ginger Ale left. I am very happy to be heading home and to wrap my arms around my wife and to hold her close enough that words aren’t even needed to express how I feel. I can’t wait to walk in the door in time to hear my kids alerting mommy that daddy is home. I can’t wait to show Logan the pennant I got for him and Hudson from Middle Tennessee State University.

 

I am southbound. We are flying right beside the Mississippi River. It is such a beautiful day. So nice to look out the oval-shaped window into the blue sky watching the world pass by beneath the plane. On this trip, I have met people from at least half of the states in the U.S. I have referenced the song ‘That’s What I Love About Sundays’ in a previous post. The song just shares about the simple times of living life on a Sunday. Living life the way God surely had planned for us. Well, the thoughts inside my head right now surround what I love about going home. Years from now, when I have been traveling for awhile, I still want the excited butterflies going crazy in my stomach. I want the thrill of being home to resonate within my smile. I continue to have people come up to me once they hear about the quads and Logan and tell me their opinion on me traveling away from home. It gets real old having to look the 73 year-old women in eyes, smile, and nod.

 

So, here I am. I am alone again. But maybe you’re here with me. So often times when I am writing these posts, I picture faces. In my mind’s eye, I see family, friends from Ouachita, people I just met in the last few days, or people in places where I have lived. I think back to some serious conversations I have had with people that are dealing with some serious stuff in their own lives. I relive hilarious jokes or stories that were told to me. You know, something I have done ever since I have known Liz is I watch her and listen to her. I hear her singing to a song on the radio or listen to her interact with one of the kids. Often times, she doesn’t know I am paying attention. She teaches me so much about life and about being a parent. Well, who is watching you? I learn so much from listening and watching others. I am not being yelled at or chastised about something, but rather learning through observation.

 

Liz got me blogging last Fall. I have used it as a release to get out so many frustrations and attitudes, but also to grow. Putting my thoughts to words allows me to catch up with myself. I think I am still trying to figure out who I am, what it is God wants me to be, and what is it I am to be learning from this life that I am attempting to live. I have a long ways to go. (I feel smarter in first class. J )

 

There is an interesting song that I am listening to as I wrap this session up. It is Casting Crown’s song ‘East to West.’ Listen to it alone. And I swear I mean this when I say it, ” I love you.” And I apologize in advance for not always showing it…

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2 Responses to “Kickin’ It In The Air”

  1. NanaPops Says:

    As Mom and I head out at 5:30 a.m. to see a young lady to the airport who has served here this summer, we are smiling with you and about you as you continue to consciously seek and allow your creator Father God to grow you. And we see your huge smile as you walk through your door and greet your wonderful wife and family. Mom and Dad love you personally, as well as who you are.

  2. I appreciate your willingness to share.

    Love Aunt Janice

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